2010 and So We Conclude

We can all agree that 2010 was an eventful year. We experienced hammers, taxes, incursion, disguises and duppies (Kartel). So of course I had to revisit those moments of sorrow, bliss, anticipation and of course, the Oh No He Did Nots.

I along with my friend Anna came up with a list of the 13 top events that occurred in the year 2010!

We gonna kick things off with the death of Professor Barry Chavannes, an exceptional Jamaican scholar. I knew nothing about the man, so of course all my info about him will be taken from Google… there is too much information about him, and quite frankly I’m not being paid. So instead of giving you his whole life story I’ll inform you on what he was best known for.

Barry Chavannes was a Rhode Scholar, he was beloved by Rastas, he fought for the legalization of ganja, he wrote many books and was a Professor at UWI. May his soul rest in peace.

 

 

  < lung cancer, how yuh get dat again?

Coming in at number 12 is the death of musical icon Gregory Isaacs whose death didn’t really matter to many because they thought he was already dead. Upon doing my research about this man, I understood that this Isaacs was a druggy. He thrived on cocaine and other supplements which would give reason to his death, lung cancer. He was best known for his song Night Nurse. I wonder if he sang that to the nurse who took care of him..hmm

At number 11 we have tax, tax and more tax.  2010 was the year of legalized extortion as the Jamaican government came one step closer in their quest to revive slavery. There I said it, I know yall were thinking it, shoot.  Just last year he was planning on taxing things like sardines and tissue and napkins and if it wasn’t for Miss Butu Portia Shrimpson who nuffed up herself as usual, we would all be suffering now. Ha! Look at me, I juss disrespected and praised Portia in one sentence, I had to though, if I was bashing Bruce, I had to bash her, writers should not seem bias. Anyways and just when we thought we were getting a break from this monetary drought caused by the JLP, they taxed liquor conveniently in time for the Christmas holidays. Good move Bruce, good move.

<Aint they cute doe

lol ok i'm trippin, i'm trippin

Christina Brown and boyfriend of Justin Beiber, Usher Raymond come in at number 10 on our countdown. At sumfest 2010 the international artistes were Chris Brown and Usher who came to show Jamaican girls how to keep dem man. Both “men” saw it appropriate to start a whining contest on the stage which resulted in Chris Brown on his head top and Usher showing him how a belly dance is really done. GURRRLLLLLLLL supm aint right.

 We cannot talk about the hurricane season and not mention the infamous Tomas, which sneaks itself in the 9^th spot. If you’ve never heard of a menstruating hurricane, then let me tell you about tropical depression, no tropical storm, no Hurricane, noooo tropical storm, you know what, let me tell you about Tomas. This thing had a field day with Jamaicans and as it dilly dallied trying to decide whether to visit us our not. Upon the final hours before impact, it seemed to have decided to dump some rain on the island. This resulted in a haste to get last minute supplies, few hours later Tomas passed leaving no evidence of its presence. Not even breeze. He fooled yall.

  Carpenter Bounty Killer hammers his way at number 8. %50 insane and %50 dunce were possible reasons that could be used to explain bounty’s antics this passed year. He literally tried to fix his relationships by doing so the old fashion way, using a hammer. He was charged earlier this year for beating his girlfriend whom he threatened to kill in the presence of law enforcers. The charges against him were later dropped but were again rehashed as he was back in custody for beating a woman with a hammer. He was later seen worshiping Satan in a church and it was reported that he joined a movement against female abuse. Whatever Bounty is trying to sell, I aint buying.

A number of artistes certainly did their thing this year. But number 7 belongs to Gyptian! He won a Mobi award (I don’t know what that is, but ok) and a Soul Train award, but this is not about his achievements it has to do more with the remix he did to his song Hold Yuh with Nicki Minaj, who in my opinion butchered a perfectly good song. I still don’t understand her importance and what she was trying to say during her parts of the song.

“body smoking, CIGA-RATE” really Nicki? What? CIGA-RATE? And what are you trying to say really? Moving on…

this is a frame from Rihanna's Umbrella Video..the chick is evil!

Conveniently placed at number 6 is the Illuminati DVD. Get it? 6? As in 666? No? Ok nevermind. This DVD has been circulation for sometime now, and is a documentary exposing the secrets of an occult called the Illuminati. The DVD exposes the truth about the motive of the group and its member and human sacrifices. All I have to say is if this group is sooo secretive, how do you know so much? Some celebrity said to be a part of this group are Jay Z, Beyonce and Rihanna.

At #5 is the infamous List that began circulating on the web about gay Jamaican Artistes on the DL. Not much to say about this. Names that were mentioned are Kartel, Elephant man, Lexus and Kiprich which is stale news really, the name that topped the List is ZJ LIQUID AND I HAVE COMMENTARY! There was a confrontation on twitter between a boy and Zj Liquid. The boy asked Liquid whether he had heard about the allegations. Liquid said yes. So the boy asked Liquid if they were true. Liquid responded saying “I don’t really care what people have to say about me”. The boy then told Liquid that he did not answer the question, in response, Liquid blocked the boy. The question was never answered laaa geee!… I SHALL NOT LOOK. Moving right along.

<<< teach me how to DUPPY

The duppy story aired on CVM that gave Jamaicans all over goose bump comes in at number 4. The story is about a boy who is being harassed by a ghost who was his friend. The video shows the ghost pulling and pushing the boy all over the place. At one point both the boy’s feet were dangling in the air. A pastor who saw the piece, came to the rescue and demanded that the ghost torment the boy even more, of course just to see what level duppy he was working with *roll eyes*. 

At number 3 is Yendi Phillips for her the wonderful performance at the Miss Universe Pageant. Amidst negative comments about her entering the Miss Universe pageant and assumptions about her weight, Yendi shown brightly as she placed 2^nd in the pageant beating 82 other beautiful women.  She was placed 1^st in the swimsuit section and 2^nd in the evening gown segment. She has since been seen in many interviews, magazines and commercials.

In the number 2 position is Kartel’s FACE. I find this to be another controversy at the monster’s whim. He yearns for scandal and attention. He’s like the Jamaican Kanye West. And it has been working. Although he is now unbearably ugly he is getting tremendous amount of attention. His face color made it on MediaTakeOut and has been the topic of many street side vendors. De recently announced that he will be coming out with his own line of cake soap. Big up to the entire downtown massive, not that you guys are going to read this but still. 
And to no surprise, in the number one spot, the biggest scandal and event in 2010 was the Tivoli Incursion, the Dudus saga, and Manatt Phelps and Phillips scandal. It all started when the US’ extradition request for Dudus followed by Bruce’s appointment of Manatt Phelps and Phillips followed by almost 80 people being killed in Tivoli and the nationwide lockdown and search for Dudus. Who was later caught in his grandmother’s wig. and we can't leave out the mediator.

Yes, 2010 was an eventful year filled with Drama and Excitement. Twas good though, we overcame a lot. Now it’s time to close the door, and open a new one. Can’t wait to see what makes the list next year!

Categories: entertainment , gossip