"WOIII it sweeet mi" bellowed the woman who was clearly enjoying the met dished to her by her friend while traveling home on a bus that I was so fortunate to be riding in. I was surely intrigued by what i was hearing and cocked my ears to hear the rest, who wouldnt? I left Camperdown a year ago so I was in need of some really juicy sus.
"Suh a weh you do when him tell you dat missis?" She asked drilling the dets from the woman who seemed cautious, hoping no one was hearing, little did she know. Apparently this was a story of a man who dated a woman (lol), only to find out later that she was a he.
So the story begins. From what i understood from the 40minute journey from HWT to Portmore, the man who i'll call Gary had a relationship with this woman, i'll call Andrea (you see what i did there?). The two then became intimate but no sex. The story teller explains that Andrea was always hesitant and 'stand off-ish' when his hand went too low.
"Suh him neva pick up seh supm nuh right deso?" Her friend asked. "or even di bress dem, him neva see seh har chess too sumall?". According to Gary, he thought Andrea was just playing hard to get, i'll accept that. But what about the breasts? He said that Andrea was fat and so it was man boobs that he was always caressing. I'm not too sure about that one. I was fat once and i had man boobs and i could clearly tell the difference between mine and my mom's, but i'll give him the benefit of the doubt, the friend thought the same.
The storyteller who had met Andrea confessed that she was fooled as well. The perfect walk in heels, the high pitched voice, the perfect makeup was all to 'feminine' for a man to do.
"Mi wah seem cause me wah see a how him look mek unu couldnt tell di difference". I dont have to tell you who said that.
So the story continues. Gary really wanted to reach third base, as "him blood did a bwoil", so he planned to surprise Andrea and to seduce her into going that extra mile. Hair all done - let me write exactly what she said.
"mi seh him all do up him hair enuh, suppose yuh see how di man guh aallll out, yuh woulda swear tink a married him ago married"< I WOULD NEVER FORGET THAT LINE.
"yea suh wahmp?"
She continued. Gary planned a surprise visit, he showed up unannounced at Andrea's house. He claimed he saw a man who was the splitting image of one of Andrea's girlfriends. The man looked shocked, Gary grew suspicious, he thought that Andrea was giving him bun. He demanded to know where Andrea was, he responded saying "She inna di baachroom". According to the woman telling the story Gary expressed how 'girly' the man spoke and how he stretch his words.
Gary rushed to the bathroom, opened the door just as the "Andre" was stepping out of the shower.
"Mi seh. Him seh him see one BIG sitn a hang dung"
Men, be careful.
2 comments:
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! *walks away*
lol..lmfao.. him did know jus clear him a clear the air on his part
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